simple ramble.

I apologize for being MIA. 

I have been stressed to the max about finals and papers and work and life in general.

I have been trying to balance it all but have failed at it.

This lead to me getting sick. I came down with a cold. It sucks point blank.

I need to find a way to plan out my time between studying, eating, work, sleep, and life. But it seems like I will be studying my butt off the next 2 weeks that I will not have a life. The one thing that I am looking forward to though is Christmas break. It officially starts for me on the 15th and I can not be more excited. Oh did I mention that I finally get my state championship ring on the 9th of this month? Talk about even more excitement!

These past few days I have done nothing but lay in bed after classes and watch tv, and currently today started the 25 days of Christmas on ABC family. I love Christmas so I am excited to celebrate everything possible. I even put a small tree in my dorm room. Its silver with red ornaments and and a red star on the top. It's so cute.

But I need to get back to studying or relaxing whichever I decide to do. More than likely I will be relaxing and doing nothing for the rest of the night, so that way this weekend I can get all of my studying done that is needed. 

Have a great rest of the week and goodluck to those that will be taking finals for this semester! 

:)

simple thanks

Who is the person that I run to for money all the time? 

Who is the person that is always there for me?

Who is the person that I don't thank often enough?

Who is the person that I love very much?

Who is the person that I am blogging about?

DAD.

I love this man. He is always there for me and will do anything for me. We have had 18 thanksgivings together. So for this year's thanksgiving, I thought that I would give 18 reasons as to why I am thankful for my dad.

1. He does EVERYTHING for me.

2. He has an amazing passion for Christ.

3. He always puts things into perspective.

4. He loves his children more than life itself. 

5. He helps out everyone with anything.

6. He was my pitching coach for the longest time. 

7. He is a big teddy bear. Deep, loud voice when needed, but soft and sweet other times.

8. He did his best to be at every last one of my softball games last year.

9. He has the same love for football as do I and my brother.

10. He has a take-no-crap from anyone attitude. I LOVE it.

11. He loves to take Sunday naps. I believe that they are the best.

12. He helped me with math during elementary school. This is where my love for math came from.

13. He apparently donated all of his genes to me, or so says my mom.

14. He loves to make jokes on a daily basis. Most of the time they are pretty funny.

15. He is like me, a tender heart when it comes to animals.

16. He knows how to talk to you about anything.

17. He has a technological knowing deficit. I think its funny when he is trying to figure it out.

18. He is MY dad, plain and simple.

I love you daddy, and I know I don't tell you enough. You are for real the best dad anybody can ask for and I'm blessed to call you my dad.

simple the Father's love

Guess what day it was yesterday?

I Am Second  Monday!

I know you are all excited just as I was yesterday. 

Last week I made the commitment to write each morning a memory of dumpling, my cat. Well instead of doing that, I sort of switched it up and did a blog about her with 14 memories/reasons as to why I loved her. (see below) This week my commitment has to deal with thanksgiving. I want to write a letter to my dad thanking him for all he does and giving him 18 reasons as to why I am thankful for him (I am 18, so we have had that many thanksgivings together). I want to do this because I don't show how thankful I am towards my dad as I am to my mom. 

This week we watched the Shannon Culpepper film. She talks about how her dad wasn't there for her to watch her grow up, and how he went and did things for his other family and other children. She was jealous of them. She thought, "I had him first." Then when she was in her senior year of high school she fell madly in love with this older man, and he was one whom she thought that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He was, however, very controlling and abusive towards Shannon. She didn't really fully understand all of this because she was blinded by the fact that she "loved" him. He was a older man and a "fatherly" figure to her, or so she thought. She finally realized that she had invested all of this time trying to find someone to be her father and she found herself just talking to God asking him to take the pain away. She found out that God had been with her through everything and that he was never going to leave her like her dad did. She finally realized that God loved her and was always going to be there for her in the end.

The person who knows my commandments and keeps them, that's who loves me. And the person who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and make myself plain to him.

Judas (not Iscariot) said, "Master, why is it that you are about to make yourself plain to us but not to the world?"

"Because a loveless world," said Jesus, "is a sightless world. If anyone loves me, he will carefully keep my word and my Father will love him-we'll move right into the neighborhood! Not loving me means not keeping my words. The message you are hearing isn't mine. Its the message of the Father who sent me. 

I'm telling you these things while I'm still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. he will remind you of all the thing I have told you. I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace. I don't leave you the way you're used to being left-feeling abandoned, bereft. So don't be upset. Don't be distraught.

You've heard me tell you, 'I'm going away and I'm coming back.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I;m on my way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of my life.

I've told you this ahead of time, before it happens, so that when it does happen, the confirmation will deepen your belief in me. I'll not be talking with you much more like this because the chief of this godless world is about to attack. But don't worry-he has nothing on me, no claim on me. but so the world might know how thoroughly I love the Father, I am carrying out my Father's instructions right down to the last detail."

John 14:21-31

This video is highly relatable so I strongly suggest that you watch it and if you have any friends that you would want to share this with, please do.

simple R.I.P dumpling

How would you feel waking up to a phone call from your dad and the first words he says to you is "I have some bad news."

This is what happened to me this past Saturday morning. Our cat, Dumpling, had to be put down. She was declining very quickly. She would not eat anything and she was in very much pain. This phone call was one that I was not prepared for. As dad told me that they were going to do so, I started crying my eyes out. This was the worst thing that I wanted to hear. I knew that this day was coming, because she was so old (she was 14 years old), but I wanted to be able to see her one last time before they laid her to rest.

This past week I have been struggling very much with the loss of my cat. I came home this past week and could not even sleep in my own bed because I was struggling so badly. She had slept with me every night throughout my high school career.

So as part of my I Am Second commitment this week, and me thinking that this might help with the pain, I'm going to write 14 reasons as to why I loved Dumpling and the memories of her.

1. She was black, white and orange. A calico.
2. She was a fat cat.
3. She was the laziest cat ever.
4. She was actually willed to daddy from an old lady that had died.
5. I was in the 1st grade when we got her. She hated me at first.
6. She had her favorite food, that she would meow for when she saw it.
7. She loved playing with a string.
8. She was very shy at first around the house and if anyone came in, she would go hide.
9. She loved Christmas and being able to lay under the tree with the presents.
10. I was mean to her at first, I cut her whiskers semi-short.
11. She was the best cuddler. She would lay with you and you had to have a elbow/arm for her head to lay on.
12. She shed hair everywhere in the house.
13. She had a love/hate relationship with all of the animals that came into our house.
14. She always greeted me whenever I walked into my room.

There are of course many many more memories that I could name of her. I miss her so much and it is hard coming home and her not being here to greet me. Here are just a few pictures of her.

RIP Dumpling. You were the best cat ever and I miss you tons.

simple cutting to confidence.

Yes. It has been at least a month since I Am Second Mondays has happened.

But that streak was stopped tonight.

Last time I had made the commitment to patch things up with my family. We had been arguing and thankfully I had fulfilled my commitment. There are still some rough patches that need to be fixed but its better than nothing. This week I made the commitment to give everything to God and to write down one good memory of my cat, Dumpling. We had to put her down this past Saturday. She was 14 years old and was the one that slept with me every night throughout my high school career. I miss her so much and I have been struggling with the fact that she is gone but I know that she is not hurting anymore and that she is in a better place. I hope that writing down one memory of her will help my heart and maybe the pain will lessen.

This week we watched the video with Victoria Childress. Her story was that she struggled with family issues, moving around, scavenging for food, no place to sleep, etc. This started at a very young age and she didn't know how to deal with it properly. She turned to cutting her arms and even one time she carved S.A.D. into her arms. This was when she was 13 or 14. Her mother caught her one time and took her to a physician. This physician didn't try to diagnose her, he simply just like Victoria talk to him and tell him her story. At the end, he told her to sign a living contract, that she would live her life and that she wouldn't let things put her down. If she ever felt like she wouldn't be able to make the commitment she was to call him and talk to him. She started praying silently and asking God to help her to fulfill this contract. He came into her life and helped her to stop cutting her arms. She knew that she could go to Him anytime that she needed someone to talk to and to let all her emotions out. Once she finally moved, she started going to church and everyone there accepted her for who she was. She loved knowing that people would be there for her and help her anytime she needed it.

And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.

And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. And crying out with a loud voice, he said, "What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me." For he was saying to him, "Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!" 

And Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many."

And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him, saying, "Send us to the pigs; let us enter them."

So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out, and entered the pigs, and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and were drowned in the sea. The herdsmen fled and told it in the city and in the country. And people came to see what it was that had happened.

And they came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. 

And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. 

And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region. As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. And he did not permit him and said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."

Mark 5:2-19

simple rebuilding the altar.

Be prepared. Very long post ahead.

Every Sunday, or at least every Sunday, Aimee and I go to C4Charlotte. 

(This is like a YoungLife for those at home).

Anyways when we go, the service is started off by singing a couple of amazing, inspiring songs then followed by a sermon that is an "eyeopener", and ending the night with a couple more of the inspirational songs and an invitation to the altar.

This week the sermon was about Rebuilding the Altar. This sermon was so inspirational that I wanted to share it with you blogger world. 

So A'hab sent to all the Israelites, and assembled the prophets at Mount Car'mel. Elijah then came near to all the people, and said, "How long will you go limping with two different opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Ba'al's prophets number four hundred fifty. Let two bulls be given to us; let them choose one bull for themselves, cut it in pieces, and lay it on the wood, but put no fire to it; I will prepare the other bull and lay it on the wood, but put no fire to it. Then you call on the name of your god and I will call on the name of the Lord; the god who answers by fire is indeed God." All the people answered, "Well spoken!" Then Elijah said to the prophets of Ba'al, "Choose for yourselves one bull and prepare it first, for you are many; then call on the name of your god, but put no fire to it." So they took the bull that was given to them, prepared it, and called on the name of Ba'al from morning until noon, crying, "O Ba'al, answer us!" But there was no voice, and no answer. They limped about the altar that they had made. At noon Elijah mocked them, saying, "Cry aloud! Surely he is god; either he is meditating, or he has wandered away, or he us on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened." Then they cried aloud and, as was their custom, they cut themselves with swords and lances until the blood gushed out over them. As midday passed, they raved on until the time of the offering of the oblation, but there was no voice, no answer, and no response. Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come closer to me"; and all the people came closer to him. First he repaired the altar of the Lord that been thrown down; Elijah took twelve stones, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Jacob, to whom the word of the Lord came, saying, "Israel shall be your name"; with the stones he built an altar in the name of the Lord. Then he made a trench around the altar, large enough to contain two measures of seed. Next he put the wood in order, cut the bull in pieces, and laid it on the wood. He said, "Fill four jars with water and pour it on the burnt offering and on the wood." Then he said, "Do it a second time"; and they did it a second time. Again he said, "Do it a third time"; and they did a third time, so that the water ran all around the altar, and filled the trench also with water. At the time of offering of the oblation, the prophet Elijah came near and said, "O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that you are God in Israel, that I am your servant, and that I have done all these things at your bidding. Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so that this people may know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back." Then the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt offering, the wood, the stones, and the dust, and even licked up the water that was in the trench. When all the people saw it, they fell on their faces and said, "The Lord indeed is God; The Lord is indeed is God."

1 Kings 18:20-39

This story explains that the Lord is the way to Heaven and to be reborn spiritually. These people did not understand that fully. They had to rebuild their altar and ask for God's spirit to re-baptize them. The water was symbolic of God's spirit. Also, God is going to baptize you with the fire and the Spirit. This gives you the power to overcome the enemy. As Elijah took twelve stones to rebuild the altar, there are twelve tribes that helps with the way of life and helps us rebuild the altar.

1) Rueben. This is where you recognize who your friends are and who you surround yourself with. you want to surround yourself with people that build you up.

2) Simeon. The music and what we hear on a daily basis does affect our life. The subliminal messages that are in the songs that we listen to today affect us and our life to a major degree.

3) Levi. To simply put this, sexual relationships outside of marriage only steals your purity.

4) Judah. You want to worship and bless your creator. Always try to draw close to God. Worship is everything, not just singing a couple of sings. Worship is your lifestyle. 

5) Dan. God is the judge of all people, not us. Don't judge others by their lifestyle and their problems.

6) Naphtali. You want to have such a strong relationship with the Lord that you don't want to lose him.

7) Gad. When things are going great for you, be glad that they are. Thank the Lord and worship him for it.

8) Asher. Find happiness in the Lord, even on your lowest days.

9) Issachar. You want to love your job, even on the days that you are having a bad day there.

10) Zebulun. Don't place all your focus on the material things in life. Dwell in the presence of God.

11) Joseph. Give all of your dreams to the Lord. Don't plan out your life. Give your past, present, and future to the Lord.

12) Benjamin. Know who is the Son of the Right Hand. Worship him and praise him daily.

simple failure.

I failed.

I didn't get the scripture for you guys.

I have been super busy with college.

This past week, I had 2 tests, 2 quizzes, and a paper due. 

Talk about stress to the max. 

Currently I have been looking for new ways to relieve my stress. Does anyone have any ideas?

BUT:

I did go home. I did celebrate my brother's birthday. AND I went shopping with mother. These were very successful days, just saying.

On Friday, I met my brother at a small restaurant in Pilot for lunch. We then went to Winston to look for running shoes that he wanted to buy for his wife. How sweet is he?! Then that night we went to Mount Airy, to eat out with the family. It was a good night, filled with so much laughter. 

On Saturday, mother and I went back to Winston to shop for winter stuff. Anything you can think of we pretty much bought. After the shopping adventure, I packed back up and came back to Charlotte.

ALSO:

We do have I Am Second this Monday so be prepared for a post on that. I promise to blog that night.

Have a great weekend :)