simple the longest night

Tonight mother and I went to an amazing church service. This was one that I really want to share with you guys.This service was different than most church services. This one was to help us with the comfort of a death of a loved one.

Exactly seven days ago, I came home to news about the death of my only uncle on my mom's side. We lost him to depression. This was the type of news that I did not expect upon walking into the house. This past week has definitely been a rough one for all of the family. Mother and I figured out that the "waterproof" mascara wasn't "tearproof". Saturday was the day that we buried my uncle, and I have missed him so much. Everyone in my family realizes how hard of a Christmas this will be and we do not know exactly how we are all going to deal with this. I personally believe that we will be drawn closer together to comfort one another. I also believe that this service tonight helped both mother and I with the coping of Uncle Tim.

These were the scriptures read tonight at the service.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away." And the one who was seated on the throne said, "See, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true."

Revelations 21:1-5

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior, I give Egypt as your ransom.

Isaiah 43:1-3

While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Luke 2:6-7

This last verse is one from the Christmas story. People generally take Christmas for granted, thinking that they should have the ideal family gathering with many presents to open and lots of food to eat. Many people over think what the main reason as to why we celebrate Christmas is. It is not for the children, where they tell Santa what they would like for him to bring them because they were good that year, or for the adults who bake and cook all day for the family gathering that night, or even wrapping all the Christmas presents and unwrapping them that morning. There are some people in the world that do not get this opportunity to receive presents. They take this time of the year to be with the people that they love the most and actually spend time with them. They also take this time to thank God that they are living and blessed with what they have. I think that they understand the true meaning of Christmas. Even though there are the happy times of Christmas, some people go through the sad times as well. It is said though that you can't be sad at Christmas, you have to be cheery. This is where you would feel isolated because you believe that they don't understand your situation. This is where the name "The Longest Night" comes from. Where you feel like you have no one to turn to and no one understands what you are going through. It seems like the night will never turn to morning and you lay in bed thinking about all of your problems. Whenever you feel this way, turn to God. He will always listen and he gives comfort to you in every form possible. The comfort of Christmas is the amazing gift of God's love. 

Also tonight, instead of the advent wreath, we did an alternative wreath lighting. These candles represented giving words to the ones that we lost. These are the inspirational words that were read as the candles were lit.

The Candle of Sadness

As we remember loved ones who have left us, relationships that are no more, our lives the way they used to be, we acknowledge sadness at their passing.

The Candle of Courage

As we face the loss in our lives, we realize that Jesus has promised never to leave us. We find courage in that assurance and in our own experience of God's gift of courage to us in the past.

The Candle of Memory

As we remember the stories, happy and sad, about the ones we love, about times when life felt whole and secure, we can find healing. As we weave these stories into our new life, we can find peace. As we remember the story of Jesus, we can find hope.

The Candle of Hope

Our hope is that for each of us there is more than only a past. Our hope is that for each of us there is also a future, in this life, and in the life to come.

The Candle of Love

Jesus Christ is the true source of our love. Jesus is the light that always shines in the darkness. And the darkness did not - and will not - overcome it.

So I challenge you, blogger world, to spend this Christmas with God. Thank him for all the blessings that you are given each day. Thank him for living as long as you did. Thank him for knowing that your loved ones that you have lost are sitting with him in heaven. Also spend this Christmas with your family. This is a holiday where you are to be drawn closer to your family. Don't be one of those people that are caught up in the glittery commercials on tv of how Christmas should be.

simple what did you learn?

What did you learn in English this semester?

 What was the process that you went through when writing a paper?

 How have you used this in your writing today?

These are the three questions that I have been contemplating these past few weeks. There are a lot of things that I could say that I have learned but narrowing it down to just a few main examples has been my biggest issue. One main thing I have learned is when writing your papers; you do not have to follow the 5 paragraph format. This was probably the hardest habit for me to break. Whenever you start writing papers in school, teachers have taught you that you are supposed to write with the 5 paragraph format. Coming into this class this was the exact mindset that I had. I wanted to write every paper in this format. When we wrote our literacy narratives for our first paper, I started using the format when I began my outline but once I realized that I was doing so, I tried a different strategy by separating my examples into different paragraphs. This helped my paper flow more smoothly. You were able to understand the story line much better and I was not confused whenever writing my paper. This semester I have progressed with not writing with the traditional format and on my cultural narrative, I used only 4 paragraphs of main ideas to get my point across. It still made sense and I believe not using that format improved my paper with the flow better than the format would have. 

Another main thing that I learned is that you always have to consider your audience and how your style of writing must “fit” with your audience. At first I was very confused with what this meant. Subconsciously you don’t realize that when you are writing papers for a professor, you are considering them as your audience and you will use a more formal tone in your paper, and you might even use big words that you may not understand the meaning of. When texting your best friend though, you realize that they will understand the sublanguage that you are using so you use a more non formal tone. When I blog to the world, I use a semi-formal tone. I want you guys to understand what I am talking about, but I don’t want you guys to be bored or confused so I won’t use “big” words.  

When we were given our literacy narrative assignments I had no idea what to do. I was lost on what I needed to put in the paper, or how I was going to write this paper. My writing process though went as follows:

-I began writing all of my childhood memories. It varied from school, to my babysitter's house

-I made an outline. 

-I wrote my first draft of the paper.

-I sent this paper to my older brother.

-We did peer review in class.

-I worked on revisions and turned in my second draft.

-We received our papers back and conferenced with Mrs. Camargo

-I went to the Writing Resources Center and worked with Rebecca.

-I turned in my third and final draft

In conclusion, this semester was one for me where I broke from my traditional format writing and I was able to recognize the different tones that I had used when writing different pieces. I was also able to see how I went through a process to writing my paper.  So my question to you is, how has your English class helped you this semester?

simple ramble.

I apologize for being MIA. 

I have been stressed to the max about finals and papers and work and life in general.

I have been trying to balance it all but have failed at it.

This lead to me getting sick. I came down with a cold. It sucks point blank.

I need to find a way to plan out my time between studying, eating, work, sleep, and life. But it seems like I will be studying my butt off the next 2 weeks that I will not have a life. The one thing that I am looking forward to though is Christmas break. It officially starts for me on the 15th and I can not be more excited. Oh did I mention that I finally get my state championship ring on the 9th of this month? Talk about even more excitement!

These past few days I have done nothing but lay in bed after classes and watch tv, and currently today started the 25 days of Christmas on ABC family. I love Christmas so I am excited to celebrate everything possible. I even put a small tree in my dorm room. Its silver with red ornaments and and a red star on the top. It's so cute.

But I need to get back to studying or relaxing whichever I decide to do. More than likely I will be relaxing and doing nothing for the rest of the night, so that way this weekend I can get all of my studying done that is needed. 

Have a great rest of the week and goodluck to those that will be taking finals for this semester! 

:)

simple thanks

Who is the person that I run to for money all the time? 

Who is the person that is always there for me?

Who is the person that I don't thank often enough?

Who is the person that I love very much?

Who is the person that I am blogging about?

DAD.

I love this man. He is always there for me and will do anything for me. We have had 18 thanksgivings together. So for this year's thanksgiving, I thought that I would give 18 reasons as to why I am thankful for my dad.

1. He does EVERYTHING for me.

2. He has an amazing passion for Christ.

3. He always puts things into perspective.

4. He loves his children more than life itself. 

5. He helps out everyone with anything.

6. He was my pitching coach for the longest time. 

7. He is a big teddy bear. Deep, loud voice when needed, but soft and sweet other times.

8. He did his best to be at every last one of my softball games last year.

9. He has the same love for football as do I and my brother.

10. He has a take-no-crap from anyone attitude. I LOVE it.

11. He loves to take Sunday naps. I believe that they are the best.

12. He helped me with math during elementary school. This is where my love for math came from.

13. He apparently donated all of his genes to me, or so says my mom.

14. He loves to make jokes on a daily basis. Most of the time they are pretty funny.

15. He is like me, a tender heart when it comes to animals.

16. He knows how to talk to you about anything.

17. He has a technological knowing deficit. I think its funny when he is trying to figure it out.

18. He is MY dad, plain and simple.

I love you daddy, and I know I don't tell you enough. You are for real the best dad anybody can ask for and I'm blessed to call you my dad.

simple the Father's love

Guess what day it was yesterday?

I Am Second  Monday!

I know you are all excited just as I was yesterday. 

Last week I made the commitment to write each morning a memory of dumpling, my cat. Well instead of doing that, I sort of switched it up and did a blog about her with 14 memories/reasons as to why I loved her. (see below) This week my commitment has to deal with thanksgiving. I want to write a letter to my dad thanking him for all he does and giving him 18 reasons as to why I am thankful for him (I am 18, so we have had that many thanksgivings together). I want to do this because I don't show how thankful I am towards my dad as I am to my mom. 

This week we watched the Shannon Culpepper film. She talks about how her dad wasn't there for her to watch her grow up, and how he went and did things for his other family and other children. She was jealous of them. She thought, "I had him first." Then when she was in her senior year of high school she fell madly in love with this older man, and he was one whom she thought that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He was, however, very controlling and abusive towards Shannon. She didn't really fully understand all of this because she was blinded by the fact that she "loved" him. He was a older man and a "fatherly" figure to her, or so she thought. She finally realized that she had invested all of this time trying to find someone to be her father and she found herself just talking to God asking him to take the pain away. She found out that God had been with her through everything and that he was never going to leave her like her dad did. She finally realized that God loved her and was always going to be there for her in the end.

The person who knows my commandments and keeps them, that's who loves me. And the person who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and make myself plain to him.

Judas (not Iscariot) said, "Master, why is it that you are about to make yourself plain to us but not to the world?"

"Because a loveless world," said Jesus, "is a sightless world. If anyone loves me, he will carefully keep my word and my Father will love him-we'll move right into the neighborhood! Not loving me means not keeping my words. The message you are hearing isn't mine. Its the message of the Father who sent me. 

I'm telling you these things while I'm still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. he will remind you of all the thing I have told you. I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace. I don't leave you the way you're used to being left-feeling abandoned, bereft. So don't be upset. Don't be distraught.

You've heard me tell you, 'I'm going away and I'm coming back.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I;m on my way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of my life.

I've told you this ahead of time, before it happens, so that when it does happen, the confirmation will deepen your belief in me. I'll not be talking with you much more like this because the chief of this godless world is about to attack. But don't worry-he has nothing on me, no claim on me. but so the world might know how thoroughly I love the Father, I am carrying out my Father's instructions right down to the last detail."

John 14:21-31

This video is highly relatable so I strongly suggest that you watch it and if you have any friends that you would want to share this with, please do.

simple R.I.P dumpling

How would you feel waking up to a phone call from your dad and the first words he says to you is "I have some bad news."

This is what happened to me this past Saturday morning. Our cat, Dumpling, had to be put down. She was declining very quickly. She would not eat anything and she was in very much pain. This phone call was one that I was not prepared for. As dad told me that they were going to do so, I started crying my eyes out. This was the worst thing that I wanted to hear. I knew that this day was coming, because she was so old (she was 14 years old), but I wanted to be able to see her one last time before they laid her to rest.

This past week I have been struggling very much with the loss of my cat. I came home this past week and could not even sleep in my own bed because I was struggling so badly. She had slept with me every night throughout my high school career.

So as part of my I Am Second commitment this week, and me thinking that this might help with the pain, I'm going to write 14 reasons as to why I loved Dumpling and the memories of her.

1. She was black, white and orange. A calico.
2. She was a fat cat.
3. She was the laziest cat ever.
4. She was actually willed to daddy from an old lady that had died.
5. I was in the 1st grade when we got her. She hated me at first.
6. She had her favorite food, that she would meow for when she saw it.
7. She loved playing with a string.
8. She was very shy at first around the house and if anyone came in, she would go hide.
9. She loved Christmas and being able to lay under the tree with the presents.
10. I was mean to her at first, I cut her whiskers semi-short.
11. She was the best cuddler. She would lay with you and you had to have a elbow/arm for her head to lay on.
12. She shed hair everywhere in the house.
13. She had a love/hate relationship with all of the animals that came into our house.
14. She always greeted me whenever I walked into my room.

There are of course many many more memories that I could name of her. I miss her so much and it is hard coming home and her not being here to greet me. Here are just a few pictures of her.

RIP Dumpling. You were the best cat ever and I miss you tons.

simple cutting to confidence.

Yes. It has been at least a month since I Am Second Mondays has happened.

But that streak was stopped tonight.

Last time I had made the commitment to patch things up with my family. We had been arguing and thankfully I had fulfilled my commitment. There are still some rough patches that need to be fixed but its better than nothing. This week I made the commitment to give everything to God and to write down one good memory of my cat, Dumpling. We had to put her down this past Saturday. She was 14 years old and was the one that slept with me every night throughout my high school career. I miss her so much and I have been struggling with the fact that she is gone but I know that she is not hurting anymore and that she is in a better place. I hope that writing down one memory of her will help my heart and maybe the pain will lessen.

This week we watched the video with Victoria Childress. Her story was that she struggled with family issues, moving around, scavenging for food, no place to sleep, etc. This started at a very young age and she didn't know how to deal with it properly. She turned to cutting her arms and even one time she carved S.A.D. into her arms. This was when she was 13 or 14. Her mother caught her one time and took her to a physician. This physician didn't try to diagnose her, he simply just like Victoria talk to him and tell him her story. At the end, he told her to sign a living contract, that she would live her life and that she wouldn't let things put her down. If she ever felt like she wouldn't be able to make the commitment she was to call him and talk to him. She started praying silently and asking God to help her to fulfill this contract. He came into her life and helped her to stop cutting her arms. She knew that she could go to Him anytime that she needed someone to talk to and to let all her emotions out. Once she finally moved, she started going to church and everyone there accepted her for who she was. She loved knowing that people would be there for her and help her anytime she needed it.

And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.

And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. And crying out with a loud voice, he said, "What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me." For he was saying to him, "Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!" 

And Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many."

And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him, saying, "Send us to the pigs; let us enter them."

So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out, and entered the pigs, and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and were drowned in the sea. The herdsmen fled and told it in the city and in the country. And people came to see what it was that had happened.

And they came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. 

And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. 

And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region. As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. And he did not permit him and said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."

Mark 5:2-19